This post first appeared on https://thexycode.com/2024/04/05/risque-desires-men-boundary-pushing-sex/
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I came across an article about a remote control vibe that connects to a couple’s phones. So he can control the vibe from anywhere in the world. One couple who were half a world apart said they used it during FaceTime for him to give her an orgasm.
Of course, others said they used it for him to give her orgasms in public places. And while some women find that exciting, far more men than women would be down with it. Men are also more likely to want to have sex in a semi-public place. Or to want to feel her up on the couch while the entire family is watching a movie with the kids. Why are so many men into risqué sex?
There’s no simple or single answer for this. Men are generally more open to risk than women, and this plays out in all areas of their lives, including sex. A strong sex drive is also a factor. But beyond that, for some men, there is a thrill factor. Pushing the boundaries of what’s acceptable is a turn on for some people. But don’t paint him with that unless you have good reason to think it’s true.
Maybe it’s a simple matter of him having different boundaries. Being less risk-averse and hornier certainly play into that. Different cultural rules about sex for men and women will also be at play. Perhaps he doesn’t feel it’s wrong for the kids to see the two of you being mildly sexual if there is no nudity or hand down the pants. In public, he might not see a casual butt grab as too sexual for others to see.
Of course, none of this is to suggest you should do anything that you see as wrong, or that makes you uncomfortable. But rather than arguing about if it’s right, just explain to him that it puts you off of sex, both then and in general. Or even better, whisper to him to behave, and tell him what you are going to do to him or expect him to do to you when you’re behind closed doors!
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I don’t want to put my wife off sex!
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